love is where compassion prevails
and kindness rules.
This has happened to me plenty before and I find it pretty curious when we are forced to retreat and withdraw, with no voices but your own and if only for just a day to have little to do but sit, think, or perhaps even spend some time on something you wish you had more time for. Today was one of those days and so I went for a walk to take some foresty fall photos and I actually ran into some terrifying wild turkeys. Seriously it was so unexpected I didn't know how to react.
I have been in a very exciting place lately, doing (and planning) more than I've ever done before, truly leaping outwards and saying yes to most anything, which feels so good. Have you tried it? I think I have talked before about the importance of saying yes to things, opportunities, outings, whichever, and how I used to say no all. the. time.
I feel that what really drove me to start doing things and stop saying no was two years ago during the time I went through several months of extremely severe anxiety and depression. When you endure that degree of mental angst, you reach a breaking point. A point where you have no choice but to push through it and start doing things anyway. You decide that even though you feel completely bad, and uncomfortable, and afraid, that you are just going to feel all of it and move forward anyways. Those were undeniably the worst months of my life, and on the contrary, the most inspiring, the most empowering.
Over the past couple years after my experience, I would avoid doing certain (and sometimes very important) things in fear of having an anxiety attack. But I am so proud of myself now, because I have been able to do the very things that I feared I wouldn't be able to handle.
If there's one thing that I have taken from my shadow days it is that this too shall pass. That phrase is my most favourite mantra, and is on my mind frequently. Whenever I feel anxious I know that it will not always be that way. That my emotions will shift. And I take that attitude with me wherever I go, with whatever sort of emotion I am feeling: sadness, worry, guilt. I have so much more control over the things I feel because I've learned to be patient with myself and the various processes of simply being human. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. If I ever feel a strong, overbearing (and often convincing) emotion or thought, I ride its wave. I see where it will take me. I feel it, and I let it go. I am so much better at not acting impulsively on my emotions, just due to the nature that they have a tendency to shift and twirl and change. Just wait and see.